Dirt and Soap (Kevedd)
by m0nster-without-a-name
Summary: scams become schemes as jawbreakers become a fine delicacy in this super hero/villain alternate universe. the three Eds are constantly trying to get both the jawbreakers and the girl. Based off of the episode cleanliness is next to Edness. (Kevedd)
1. Chapter 1: The scheme

A new Kevedd story- this time a super hero!Au based off of cleanliness is next to edness episode where Edd goes a little crazy

Mitch Owens and Deluxe Pizza—jay-song

Nat Goldberg—c2ndy2c1d

James Rave—kirakurry

Sam Owensby—steeveay

Joshua O' Hare—salemintheworks

Maelstrom Taylor—psych0-olll3city

Pierce- frosty-butt

* * *

"Jesus, Fish-head! You smell more than Lumpy!" Edd cried as he peered over Edd's shoulder in an attempt to see what he was working on, "Is it almost done? We need it ready by tonight!"

Edd glanced back at him, grinning- dark green tongue hanging out of his mouth, and croaked, "Yes, Eddy, I am almost finished. It will be done in time for tonight's adventure…"

Eddy smiled and strutted away to where he had blue prints and maps of every floor of the facility they were going to raid. Finally after all this time Eddy would taste the sweet, sweet taste of victory, finally he would be able to taste the jaw breakers- a delicacy that was guarded and only given to the wealthy and the nobles. Soon, though, Eddy would have them all to eat, sell and do as he pleased with. It was going to be fantastic.

"Oh, Lumpy, this is going to be fantastic- this scheme will work for sure!" Eddy cried and threw himself down onto the couch beside the idiotic man who was hunched over, watching a horror movie.

Edd looked over at the two of them, "Maybe if you two did any work we would have already succeeded!"

Eddy looked up indignantly and glared at him, "Oi, Fish-head, what was that? Saying I don't do work? I'm the one who started this- I'm the one who comes up with all the schemes!"

Edd was still grinning like a fool as he emitted, "Yes, and look how many have worked. None."

"What was that?" The short man stood up and was about to go over to Edd when Ed stopped him by grabbing his arm. Eddy gave a moan as Ed once again forgot his own strength as he gripped onto him.

"Eddy, do not fight with Double D!" He mumbled, letting go of Eddy to turn back to his movie.

"Alright, alright," Eddy grumbled, "I need him anyway."

Edd snorted from where he worked, though his grin never left his face.

"It's been three months." Rave stated, coming up from behind Nat, a coffee mug in his hand, "You're worried they're going to attack soon, aren't you?"

Nat forced a grin and turned towards Rave, "Only because then my time with you decreases and I have to leave you all alone while I go fight!"

"It's not like you really have to fight; you just have some stupid sense of justice." Rave muttered, causing Nat to frown, Rave was usually fairly cold to him but when it came to this kind of thing he was unable to hide how worried he was for Nat.

"Don't worry, princess!" He laughed, ruffling Rave's hair, "I'll be alright!"

Rave scowled at him, fixing his hair, "Who said I was worried about you?"

"No one!" Nat sang out, pulling the coffee mug out of Rave's hand and setting it on a table so he could wrap him in his arms and swing him around in an arc.

"Let go of me you idiot!" Rave protested, "You're smothering me!"

Nat laughed at him, he had no plan of letting him go until someone walked into the room. Nat dropped rave lightly and turned to Kevin who had just entered. The red head smirked at them and sat on the couch turning on the TV.

"Nat, I suggest we have an all-nighter- It's been too long since the last time those dweebs tried to take the jawbreakers… and Nazz."

"Good thinking, but may I suggest it may be a bit easier to guard Nazz if we were actually with her…" Nat suggested playfully.

Kevin glanced at him, "She's coming up now, doofus- I'm not an idiot, you know?"

Nat chuckled, "Not an idiot, huh? No I didn't know that, in fact; I would have thought the opposite!"

Kevin stood, glaring at Nat, "God damnit, you-"

"Alright, alright- calm down you two!" Nazz had entered and she quickly attempted to stop their bickering.

"OK- I wasn't gonna do anything anyway." Kevin grumbled, backing down immediatley.

Rave closed his eyes in relief and Nat smiled at him, ducking down to whisper in his ear, "You seemed a little worried there, Rave."

Rave raised an eyebrow and snorted, "Not for you, I just didn't want you two to mess up the furniture."

Nat grinned, "Yeah, I love you too, princess."

"Lumpy, hurry up!" Eddy whispered harshly and Ed scurried forwards, he was laden with bags holding everything they needed for tonight and it made small rattling noises as he ran.

Edd looked back at them both and shook his head; despite their best efforts they were always so loud, someone was sure to hear them. He reached the mansion and ran his hand along the wall, going by the blueprints they'd received from Sarah the hidden door should be a little to the left of the third window from the right… His hand felt a small bump in the wall and he pushed gently in three specific locations before the door silently slid open. Eddy chuckled beside him and hit him on the back.

"Good job, Fish head! We're in!" He muttered excitedly under his breath and pushed past Edd in a hurry to get inside.

His two friends followed after him and looked around the large room they were in. It looked like a very fancy, modern living room- everything was either glass, black or white, with sharp angles and corners on all the furniture. It was quite contrasting to the Ed's own 'lair' which wasn't nearly as chic and they stopped for a few moments just to take it in until they heard voices nearby and snapped out of their trance to hide.

"So… What do you usually do when Kevin and Nat are out guarding this place?" A familiar feminine voice asked as she walked into the room and sat herself carefully on the couch.

The male's voice that replied was nonchalant as he said, "Same stuff I usually do, just without any annoying little distractions."

"So… You aren't worried at all?"

"Look, Nazz, this happens much too often for me to just put my life on hold and panic every time." The man sounded very frustrated all of a sudden but Edd was unable to think about it for too long as Eddy had gotten extremely excited at Nazz's name.

"No, Eddy!" He whispered, "We're here for jawbreakers today- if we succeed with that we can get Nazz another time!"

Eddy rolled his eyes, "Or we could just get both of them now- two birds with one stone, right?"

Before Edd could stop him Eddy had jumped out and inevitably ruined everything. He scrambled after him at the sound of Nazz screaming and saw her racing out of the room with Eddy in pursuit, the boy she had been talking to was looking unamused, standing beside the couch looking at where Eddy and Nazz had run off.

"God damn it, Eddy!" Edd shouted, walking over to the boy and grabbing his shirt collar, "You, who are you?"

"My name is James, now let go of me before I kick you in the balls, you're getting my shirt dirty!" The boy named James yelled and Edd quickly let go of him.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I'm just very stressed… Eddy has ruined the whole plan, and I… I" Edd rambled on, and though his grin never faltered his eyes showed just how worried he was, "Oh dear, oh dear…"

James smirked and mocked him, "You're not much of a villain are you? I don't know why I was ever worried Nat might get hurt. You and your accomplice aren't much- unless you've got something hidden up your sleeve then I don't-"

He was cut off as Ed popped up from where he had hidden and laughed, "Maybe that's me then, hey, Double D?"

Edd's grin grew and he ran to Ed, taking one of his backpacks and starting to run off, "Ed make sure James doesn't follow me!" He cried before stopping to look back, "B-but… Don't hurt him too much unless you have to!"

Ed watched him leave before turning to look at James, "are you James?"

James snorted and shook his head, "No, no- my name is Rave."

Ed looked extremely confused as his eyes searched the room for another person, "Do you know who James is?"

"No, sorry, I don't" James 'Rave' lied before walking past the large boy, "Excuse me now, I must be going."

"Oh… Ok… bye," James almost felt bad leaving him, he looked so lost and confused, but he shook off the feeling as he went after that odd boy wearing the fish mask.

"Kevin! Did you hear that?" Nat yelled out to his friend after what sounded like a woman's scream.

"Yeah, I did- should we go check on Nazz and Rave?" Kevin asked flying back over to where Nat was.

Nat nodded before pulling a small mobile-like device from his pocket, "Let's call some extra help in as well."

"You do that, I'll go on ahead." Kevin said and flew towards the house before Nat could say anything else. He threw the front door open and tore down the hall, shouting for Nazz. He finally found her on the second floor, Eddy still chasing after her. She ran behind Kevin and Eddy skidded to a halt when he saw the red head.

"Kevin!" He growled and pulled what looked like a small metal pole out of his jacket.

Before either of them could do anything, though, high pitched giggling filled the air followed by shouting as the Kankers burst into the room with 6 boys on their tails, including Nat. When they entered the room Nat looked around the room for Rave but couldn't see him.

Meanwhile both Eddy and Kevin were staring in dismay at the new arrivals, "Not the Kankers!" They both groaned.

"Oi!" Nat yelled at Eddy, "Where's Rave?"

Eddy stared at him in confusion for a while before he realised who Nat was talking about, "You mean that moody guy? How should I know- I left him in the living room with Lumpy and Fish head."

That was all Nat needed to hear before he left the room, two of the other boys, Pizza and Maelstrom following. May and Marie Kanker seemed about to follow as well but Lee pulled them back, and the three boys sped down the stairs, leaving them behind.

Ed was still in the living room looking confused and Nat ran up to him, "James! Where is James?" He shouted and Ed looked like he was close to tears.

"I don't know!" He cried, "Double D told me to stop him from following but… but all I could find was a guy called Rave!"

Nat frowned, "What? Are you fucking with me? Yes, Rave, Where is Rave?"

"R-Rave… I think he went after Double D… Maybe… I think to where the jawbreakers are…" Nat turned away from Ed and ran out of the room with Pizza and Maelstrom and Ed ran after them, "W-wait, are any of you James?"

Edd had scurried down the stairs to the basement and found the large metal door that led to the jawbreakers. From the backpack he had taken before running off he extracted the device he had been working on for the last few days and fixed it onto the doors lock system. He waited a few seconds as it worked its magic and broke the code, unlocking the door. He pushed open the door and was about to enter when Rave had caught up with him.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked Edd and Edd blinked in surprise.

"It seems I underestimated you- if you managed to get past Ed you must be quite strong!"

Rave snorted, "No, you just overestimated your friend- he's an idiot; all I had to do was tell him I wasn't James."

Edd laughed despite his failed plan, "I should have realised he would do that. But since you didn't beat him in a fight and therefore I assume you are not particularly great at fighting I suggest you go now so I don't have to hurt you."

"You don't seem that strong either," Rave muttered looking at the scrawny boy in front of him.

"No," Edd laughed, "But I am incredibly smart, and I have inventions and weapons that can do all the work for me." He smirked pulling what appeared to be a small metal pole but was something much more deadly- an invention Edd had come up with years ago.

Rave looked frightened for the first time and stepped backwards, he was going to flee when he heard Nat flying down the stairs towards him. He grabbed Rave and turned him around to see if he was alright, fussing over him as he pushed back his hair to get a good look at his face.

"I'm fine idiot!" Rave snapped, "Shouldn't you be worrying about the jawbreakers?" He turned around to where Edd had been standing a moment ago but found he had slipped away when Rave was distracted. Rave groaned before racing after him into the jawbreaker storage, Nat followed quickly; desperate to protect him. Behind them, Pizza and Maelstrom struggled dealing with Ed who was still shouting for James. Eventually though they managed to pull away from him long enough to follow Nat and Rave into the storage room. Ed stood for a while, lost and unsure where he was before deciding to follow also.

A burst of light shot past him, hitting the wall and breaking a clean circle through it. Edd was holding the small metal pole-like device and aiming it at Pizza. Ed immediately ran towards the fight to help Edd. He grabbed Maelstrom around the waist and tossed him lightly in to the air, Maelstrom turned in the air and when he came down he shot five quick punches at Ed. Ed didn't seem to feel it and moved towards Maelstrom, ready to punch him when Pizza shot a beam of ice at him, freezing his fist. He stopped and turned slowly towards Pizza as Maelstrom sprinted away, towards Nat.

"He's… really… strong…" He panted but Nat wasn't paying attention as he tried to shield Rave from Edd's attacks. Maelstrom sighed and sped towards Edd to try and stop him. Edd attempted to aim at him but he was too fast and managed to tackle him, dragging him to the ground before Edd could hit him and knocking his weapon away.

They fought with one another, Edd using his knowledge for the weak and vital points on the human body and Maelstrom using his fast reflexes. Maelstrom was on top of Edd about to deliver the final blow and knock him out when he was lifted up into the air. Ed threw Maelstrom away and picked up Edd off the ground.

"We've gotta go, Double D! I can't beat them!" he shouted as Double D picked up his pole-like weapon and the two of them ran from the room, the others in hot pursuit. When they arrived at the first floor they saw Eddy, running towards the living room and the exit. Behind him were the Kanker sisters, attempting to fight off Kevin, Mitch, Josh and Sam. Edd and Ed followed Eddy and they burst out of the house, they didn't stop running until they were a few blocks away and could no longer hear anyone coming after them. They sat down on the pavement, panting, too tired to notice the three figures making their way towards them.

The Kankers giggled gleefully at them and they looked up in terror, before trying to run. Lee froze them all with one look and the three sisters made their way to the three Eds. By the time the effect of Lee's power wore off their faces were covered in red lipstick and the Kankers cackled as they watched them run off.

Pierce smirked as the three Eds walked through the door, "I'm guessing it didn't go well…" he snorted as they walked into the lit up hallway and he noticed their faces, "The Kankers came too? You still lost?"

"Pierce, shut up!" Eddy snarled as he stomped down the hall.

"To be honest everything was going well until Eddy saw Nazz…" Edd muttered and Pierce laughed.

"That girl really gets you going, doesn't she?" He called after Eddy, who just put up the middle finger.

* * *

For this story it would probably be good for you to check my tumblr- I will be uploading pictures and character profiles with each chapter: I hope you enjoyed this


	2. Chapter 2: The magazine

Woo. New chapter! yeah- just read it... I guess

* * *

The Eds were known as "the villains;" people who should be feared. They were famous for their constant schemes and plots to steal jawbreakers and kidnap Nazz- a desirable young woman who many sought to win the attraction of, though none more than the Eds. Edd was the brains, he worked at inventing weapons and tools and gathering all the information, Eddy was the "big idea man" he was the one who came up with the base plan and Ed was the brute force with his super strength. Still, despite all their attempts to kidnap Nazz and steal the jawbreakers there was another trio, much worse, who were to be avoided at all costs, unless you wanted to die a very horrible death; the Kankers. Each of them possessed powers and strength beyond what was thought possible and lacked responsibility, goodwill and mercy. They were nightmares- even for the Eds, who were supposedly on their side- and were only kept at bay by the Eiyutekis "the hero's." They protected the jawbreakers, Nazz and civilians from the Eds and Kankers with their super-human gifts. There were seven of them; Kevin, Nat, Pizza, Maelstrom, Josh, Sam and Mitch with James "Rave" Cute who worked as a researcher and trainer and Rolf one of a prestige group of scientists called "shepherds" who worked at altering the DNA structure of animals and plants. Together they used their unique abilities to make sure good prevailed over evil.

At least that was what was publicised in all the magazines. Eddy threw down the magazine in anger, snarling, "Fucking Penelope Crowley and Boston Fucking Jack Ripper! The fuck do they know?"

"Now, now, Eddy," Edd croaked soothingly, "There's no need for that kind of language."

"Isn't there?" Eddy questioned picking the article back up again and reading aloud, "Another day saved by the Eiyutekis. The day the Eds and the Kankers united together was one we all feared and it seems it has come. Despite this the Eiyutekis still managed to keep them at bay at 9 pm last night." Eddy's anger grew as he continued, "They got past the fucking door and almost fucking succeeded in both stealing the fucking jawbreakers and fucking Nazz, a charming young fucking local but-"

Edd took the magazine away from him before he could pop a blood vessel and put it through the shredder. Pierce entered at that moment and seeing this sighed, "I was going to read that, you know… Rose won't be happy either- she lives for Boston and Penelope's articles."

Eddy scowled at him, "like I care you useless lump."

"Ah, no, you are to kind to me." Pierce disdained, seeming unamused as he sipped his coffee.

"I don't need your shitty sarcasm!" Eddy growled, glaring at pierce.

"Oh, I'm sorry shorty, it's physically impossible for me to be sincere before 12." Pierce replied dryly.

Before Eddy could snap back at him two teenagers entered the room, "So, I saw you managed to fail yesterday despite the blue prints Jimmy and I got for you…" Sarah muttered, "I thought you were just going for the jawbreakers not Nazz."

"Little sister!" Ed cried running across the room, "We almost won! But Eddy ran off to chase his dearly beloved! That is why you should stay away from girls! They make you lose!"

Sarah looked at her brother with distaste before turning to Eddy, "so what my brother is saying is it was your fault?"

"Shut up!" Eddy screeched his face going red with rage.

Sarah sneered at him, "I should have known- it's not like Double D's plans could fail unless either you or my idiot brother did something to mess it up."

"I'll have you know I help a lot when it comes to making the plan!" Eddy retorted.

"Whatever you say, shorty." Sarah mocked as Pierce made his way over to her.

"Considering how you are well versed on what happened last night I wouldn't suppose you have Boston and Penelope's magazine, do you?"

"Oh, yeah," Sarah replied rummaging in her bag before pulling out the latest issue of Rippley's writings, "Here, I'm already finished with it." She said walking towards Edd with Jimmy in tow.

"Ooh, how absolutely terrifying!" Rose giggled reading through Boston and Pen's article on the Ed's latest scheme, "The Kankers, huh? I'll have to ask them about that!"

She put away the magazine as she was served her tea at the café she was at. Lifting a small spoonful to her lips she found it was too hot and sat back waiting for it to cool. While she waited Pen and Boston entered chatting idly as they walked over to her and sat down.

"Hey, Rosie!" Boston sang and Rose scrunched her nose in response to the distasteful nickname.

"Hi Rose, did you see our article on the Ed's last big scam?" Pen questioned, waving over a waiter.

"Yeah, I was just reading it. So the Eds are working with the Kankers now?" She asked.

"That's how it looks." Boston responded before turning to the waiter and ordering for herself and Pen.

Pen agreed giggling softly, "I wonder if there is some kind of relationship between the Kankers and the Eds!"

Rose grinned, "You don't mean-"

"You think they're banging?" Boston interrupted and Rose attempted to control her laughter.

"That's not possible though, if they were why would they be constantly going after Nazz?"

Pen groaned, "Well there goes my idea for a new article."

"Were you really planning on writing something on the Eds and Kankers possible relationship?"

Boston jumped in at that point saying, "Are you kidding me, everyone would go crazy about it! Our popularity would increase tenfold! We'd be able to eat at restaurants for champions instead of shitty cafés like this!"

Rose hit her head on the table as Boston practically yelled out the last part and the girl behind her who was holding Boston and Pen's food order frowned, unimpressed, "I am _so sorry, _that we took so long preparing your order- we're just such a shitty little café, though, so not much we can do." The girl muttered sarcastically as she dumped the food unceremoniously on their table before turning on her heel and walking away.

"Well done, Boston, real good job." Pen commented taking her food and beginning to eat.

"Shut up." Boston retorted.

"Still, Pen," Rose murmured, "I'm surprised you'd want to write about that- aren't you more interested in boy on boy?"

Pen laughed, "Oh no, that's under another pen name, sweetie."

Rave sneered as he read through "Rippley's writings" and the article on last night, "They really glorify you, don't they? I mean, I saw the Eds and they were the biggest dolts I've ever seen- can't be too hard to win against them."

"We work hard, you know! Besides when I found you, you looked as though you were about to run off screaming." Nat muttered.

"Alright, I'll admit that one with the fish head is competent, though he certainly seems to lack competence in cleaning himself and just overall common sense."

"The article is pretty ridiculous." Kevin stated, sitting across from them, "The Eds hardly teamed up with the Kankers they seemed just as horrified to see them as we were."

"No wonder," Rave sneered, "Those bitches are absolute freaks."

"I don't see why they don't team up with them, though." Nat commented, "They are a lot stronger than the Eds- they might even win if they worked together."

"Which is why it is a good thing they aren't working together." Kevin murmured as he flicked through the rest of the magazine. He stopped on the quiz page, chuckling to himself, "look at this- which of the Eiyutekis are you most like? Or are you one of the _evil_ Eds and Kankers?"

"Let me see that," Nat cried snatching the magazine and scanning through the questions before smirking, "This is right on- I got me!"

"Hey Plank- would you look at that, the Eds tried something again last night," the wooden sword in question did not reply, being an inanimate object, but the boy talking to him nodded in agreement, "Yup, too right Plank, it is a shame we weren't there- we would have apprehended those dirty fools faster than you could say plank!"

The boy Johnny read through the magazine and found the quiz page, "Ooh, I wonder who I am- though you know it's a shame I'm not on here… Are you greedy? No. Do you eat a lot? No. Are you fashionable? I think so! Are you flirty? Well… I don't really talk to many people other than you, Plank, so no… I… I got Kevin! Plank, I got Kevin! That's amazing!" Johnny squealed in delight not knowing- or caring- how inaccurate this quiz and answer was.

* * *

Mitch Owens and Deluxe Pizza—jay-song

Nat Goldberg—c2ndy2c1d

James Rave—kirakurry

Sam Owensby—steeveay

Joshua O' Hare—salemintheworks

Maelstrom Taylor—psych0-olll3city

Pierce- frosty-butt

Boston Jack Ripper-Chocolatechiplague

Penelope Crowley- Frustratedpen06

Rose Baker- mine

btw guys if you want to find all my art/writing etc. for this on tumblr if you look at the dirt and soap tag-

tagged/dirt+and+soap- you'll find it (or if you want to post something for this. Thank you


	3. Chapter 3: The dissappearance

another (really short) chapter that is (I'm sorry) kind of all over the place...

lots of OCs in this one

Lucy -itsubunfanworks

Oliver & Harvey (ramed ranger guy)- Sableaire

Pierce- frosty-butt

Rose- me.

I hope you like it (it's set six months after the last one)

* * *

They had had some pretty crazy schemes but Edd had to admit this one was by far the most extreme. When Eddy had read Rippley's writings article he had started a plan, which had become so elaborate it needed 6 months of work on it (with a few attempts in between so no one became suspicious.) Now Edd watched as the city was torn apart.

"Messy, messy, messy." He muttered ad he followed the other two Eds and the brilliant contraption he'd managed to build.

It had started out as a battle at Kevin, Nat and Rave's home but had moved along through town as the fight continued getting worse. This kind of scheme was Edd's least favourite, he preferred sneaking in grabbing what they needed and leaving. Done. No mess. Not like this. He saw Eddy coming towards him and he slowed down.

"Fish head! Go back to their house and stock up on the jaw breakers while your machine and Ed keep them busy!"

Edd nodded, turning around to run back the way he had come. He arrived at the house and went through the front door which had been torn off its hinges. He was running to the basement when he felt the ground move beneath him and lurched forward, sprawling onto the ground. He heard a shout of surprise from somewhere else in the house as the whole house was pulled up into the air. Edd pulled himself to the window and looked down, immediately wishing he hadn't as he felt light head watching the ground fly away from him and fell backwards, unconscious.

Oliver ran down the street desperately trying to get away from the massive robot thundering through the city. Everyone was running around in panic- all but one person. Lucy walked down the street, oblivious to the screams and thuds behind him. Oliver ran up to him and grabbed his shoulders.

"Idiot, we have to run!" Lucy looked at him, unamused and Oliver heard a voice in his head "_how many times do I have to tell you I'm deaf?"_

Oliver groaned and, still holding Lucy's shoulder turned him so he could see the robot. "_fuck" _was all Oliver got from him as he ran down the street. They continued running not looking back at the destruction they were leaving behind. Everyone around them did the same and no one noticed the young boy of about 8 on the ground after falling over and scraping his knee. The robot stomped through the city oblivious to the boy as it drew nearer. The boy stopped crying over his injury long enough to look up and see the robots foot coming towards him. He let out a high pitched scream and the foot came crashing down. It was barely a centimetre away when he was whisked out of its path. The boy, Reade, looked up at the older boy carrying him in one arm with a ramen cup in the other.

"Ramen Rangers strike again!" the boy laughed through his noodles as he sprinted away.

The city was filled with chaos and no one noticed the house flying through the air as it was pulled along by a large blimp.

Eddy looked down at the wreckage he had caused and decided to call off the robot- Edd should have had enough time to gather the jawbreakers. He pulled back and guided the robot back to Edd's work shop. He was shocked when he finally arrived back at their house Edd still wasn't back. Ed was sitting on the couch, his clothes still torn and dirty from their rampage, watching a movie but Edd was nowhere to be found. Pierce came through the door frowning with Rose and Sarah following him.

"Eddy! Did you really tear the mansion from the ground? It's all over the news the house is gone along with Kevin who was in there at the time- what happened?" Rose cried, running forward.

"Wait- the house is gone? I- we didn't do that! But if the house is gone then Fish head…" Eddy trailed off as understanding dawned on him, "Pierce! Have you seen Fish head?"

Pierce raised an eyebrow, "Why would I have seen him… He was with you lot."

Sarah looked like she was about to explode as she stepped up to Eddy, "You are _not_ telling me that Double D is missing! You _idiot!_" She screamed grabbing Eddy's collar and shaking him.

"I asked him to go get the jawbreakers while we distracted the Eiyutekis but if someone tore the house off the ground then Double D…"

"So…" Rose muttered, "What you're saying is Double D has disappeared with Kevin and the largest storage of jaw breakers in the world… Well I can't say he's too unlucky, I'm sure there are many people who would kill to be in his place." She giggled, trying to make light of the situation.


	4. Chapter 4: The hospital visit

NEW CHAPTER with no information on where Edd and Kevin are and the waitress from the shitty little cafe making her second appearance- this time with a name.

Ailey- saltymarshmallows

Nat- c2ndy2c1d

Rave- kirakurry

ENJOY!

* * *

_"N-Nat? Nat where are you?" Rave ran wildly through the streets pushing against the stream of people running from the huge robot, "Get the fuck out of my way!" He snarled pushing past a particularly large group and coming to a completely clear street._

_"Where the fuck did that idiot run off to?" Rave muttered striding forward, trying to ignore his trembling hands._

_"Rave!" A familiar voice yelled and Rave turned to the noise seeing the teal-haired moron running towards him with a goofy grin. Despite having been searching for Nat previously Rave was not paying attention to him but more to the robot looming above him as he sprinted to Rave, oblivious._

_"Nat, you idiot, there's a big-ass robot behind you!" Nat frowned slowing down enough to look behind him and making possibly the biggest mistake he could have._

_In the few seconds he slowed down the robot gained on him considerably so that when he tripped, as he was looking back, he didn't have any time to move before the robots foot came crashing down. Rave screamed and shut his eyes tight not wanting to see, when he opened his eyes again he saw the robot walking back the way it had come, seemingly finished with its task, and Nat lying in a crumpled mess on the ground. Rave ran to him kneeling on the ground beside him and picking him up in his arms._

_"Nat! Nat, please be OK… Oh god. Nat…" He cried out at the limp body in his arms._

Rave sat restlessly in the waiting room, he could see the door that led to Nat's room and all he wanted was to run over and go inside. Unfortunately he was in the middle of an operation and the doctors weren't letting _anyone_ inside. As such Rave was forced to wait in the tiny room with nothing but woman's magazines and children's books to entertain him. Naturally he was _not_ entertained, quite far from it in fact as he waited impatiently for the doctors and nurses to come out and inform him of Nat's condition.

Finally they began leaving the room and one of the nurses approached him, "He's alive, though he is in a critical condition. He is unconscious right now but you may go in and sit with him if you wish to."

Rave didn't need to be told twice; he jumped up and went to Nat's room. Nat was lying on the bed, his body limp like a rag doll, Rave sat on a chair by the bed and gently held one of his hands.

"Nat, you're an absolute idiot. Look what you've done now- you've gone and left me all alone." Rave whispered the tears he'd been trying to keep back spilling down his cheeks as sobs racked through his body, "what am I supposed to do now? What do I do if you d-don't wake u-"

He couldn't finish the sentence and even sitting up straight proved to be too difficult as he bowed forward, resting his forehead on Nat's hip bone. He held Nat's hand to his lips and kissed it softly over and over as his tears soaked through the beds blanket and Nat's clothes. He lay there quietly for hours and when he raised his head it was dark outside. He knew he should expect one of the nurses to come in and tell him visiting hours were over soon but to his surprise they never showed up and Rave spent the night sitting next to Nat's unconscious body.

Rave woke late the next morning, his eyes were red and puffy and he felt extremely sore and tired. Still he wouldn't leave Nat's side, not for breakfast or lunch and when evening rolled around he was still sitting by the bed only having left to go to the restroom coming off of the room once or twice. The nurses were becoming increasingly worried and when they began to hover around the door of Nat's room other visitors noticed, including a young waitress from a small nearby café. After hearing what was going on she frowned and decided, instead of waiting around uselessly like the nurses she would actually do something about it. She ran off away from the room and came back with some Chinese take away. Pushing past the nurses she entered the room and Rave looked up at her through red eyes.

"Idiot, you're going to end up in a hospital bed as well if you don't eat anything." Was all she said as she dumped the food in Rave's lap.

"Who are you?" Rave croaked hoarsely.

"My names Ailey I work in a shitty little café near here."

Rave blinked slowly looking up at her, "How old are you?"

"I'm 15, but I'm still smarter than your dumb ass."

"Considering the fact asses don't have brains I would hope so."

Ailey smirked, "Well if you can throw a comeback at me I'm going to assume you are going to be ok and take care of yourself now. So eat your fucking meals and get some sleep."

Rave simply nodded as he opened the take away she had brought. When Ailey saw he was eating she smiled and left feeling proud. As she exited the room she saw the nurses hovering around still and watching Rave, she glared at them and pulled the door shut behind her. Behind the door Rave had already finished the food he had been brought as after the first bite he realised just how hungry he was.

He still stayed where he was though, the young girl Ailey had made him feel a little better but he just couldn't leave Nat when he might wake up- or die- at any moment. So he spent another night asleep on Nat's chest, the sound of his beating heart calming him.


	5. Chapter 5: The search

New chapter! where we get to see my favourite little son of a Sheppard and more on Kevin and Edd's state. Also I'd like to thank all of you for your lovely reviews.

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With Rave in the emotional state he was in he could not work and instead Rolf found himself in the lab with Nazz and worst of all, Johnny. The dim-wit boy thought he could make it as a super hero despite having no powers or intelligence at all- he was lucky he hadn't been killed yet for all the times he'd run into a battle waving his ridiculous wooden sword around. Yet these two were the only people he had to help him work out the location of Kevin. Their house had been found way out in a field, perfectly intact somehow but Kevin was still missing.

Rolf growled in frustration as once again he came to a dead end in his search, "Half-wit Johnny boy! Fetch tea for Rolf, yes?"

"Okey dokey, Rolf! Plank and I'll be right on it!" Johnny yelled running out of the room.

"Still no luck?" Nazz asked, though it was more of a statement then a question and she didn't wait for a reply as she went on, "It's odd that the Eds aren't using the fact that both Nat and Kevin aren't able to fight as a chance to steal the jawbreakers, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes, Nazz, you are correct. Unfortunately Rolf is unable to work out the reason. Best to just count our blessings."

Suddenly a loud yell and bang was heard from outside and Rolf sighed, walking to the door to see what it was. Outside Johnny stood looking shocked as in front of him stood Ed and Eddy.

"Calm the fuck down, idiot!" Eddy was yelling, "We're not here for the jawbreakers God damn it! Or Nazz for that matter. We're… We're here for Fish head…"

"The smart Ed boy?" Rolf asked, suddenly curious, "Why come to us?"

Eddy looked over Johnny's shoulder at him and sighed, "You're looking for Kevin, right? Well wherever he is so is Fish head- he was in that house as well. I figured we could work together… Just this once. I'd be more help than this guy."

"It is not difficult to be more useful than him." Rolf responded, mulling over what Eddy had told him, finally he replied, "Alright, just this once- please try to control yourself- I will have people constantly watching you to make sure you do so." He pulled out his phone and texted Joshua and Sam before inviting Eddy and Ed into his lab. As he entered he turned back to Johnny, "You have Rolf's tea, no?"

"Ah! I dropped it when I saw Eddy and Ed- I'll get another." Johnny ran back down the hall and Rolf turned back into the lab where Nazz was staring at the two Eds in horror.

Eddy was red and glanced back and forth between Nazz and his feet while Ed grinned goofily beside him.

"Rolf! What the hell are they doing here?" She asked when he entered and Rolf rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily.

"It appears one of the Ed boys have also gone missing. I decided two head are better than one, yes? So, they will help us and we will help them, understand?"

"But… But they-"

"I'm not gonna do anything bad, I swear!" Eddy butt in suddenly, "Neither is lumpy here- ain't that right lumpy?"

"Yup, Eddy! I will be a good boy! We want Double D back!"

"Double D?" Nazz asked quietly.

"It's fish heads nickname because he spells his name with two Ds- E- D-D." Eddy answered.

"Enough chin wagging, now?" Rolf said impatiently, "We must get along with our work!"

Edd woke up on the floor; his head and body hurt all over and he was freezing. He sat up groggily, blinking slowly as he looked around- trying to work out where he was. The room was dark and it took a while for his eyes to adjust but when they did he realised the room he was in was completely empty, except for one thing, or person.

"You're finally awake, huh?" Kevin asked from where he sat in the corner of the room.

Edd stared at him in shock before jumping to his feet, "Where am I? What… What's going on?"

"I don't know any more than you do dweeb." Kevin replied, "I woke up here a couple of hours ago."

"I see…" Edd murmured, considering his options, finally he asked, "Have you attempted to find a possible escape route?"

"Well, no shit, dorky, think I was just gonna sit uselessly and wait- that's not my style."

"Ah, yes, you are fairly impatient…" Edd murmured and Kevin quirked an eyebrow.

"What was that?" His nose scrunched up as he stood and glared at the fish head before sighing and shaking his head, "Never mind… Don't worry- just use your big ass head to get us out of here."

"Of course, Kevin." Edd answered setting to work.

He was happy to find whoever had taken them captive- while they had taken his most obvious weapons and apparently not noticed his more hidden tools. He went to the large metal door and pulled out his lock picking equipment. He slid the small piece of metal in at the bottom before resting the bent pin on top sliding it back and forth as he pushed at the locks mechanism, slowly unlocking each different part. He finished and placed his equipment back before trying the door. He was shocked to find it didn't work until he saw the signs of another lock- only this one could only be unlocked on the other side. He groaned and slumped forward, resting his head on the door and taking deep breaths as he tried to collect himself.

After a few moments he pushed himself up and walked around the room, paying special attention to the walls, ceiling and floor in case there was any way out. Finally he saw it- a grill in the middle of the floor. Quickly he unscrewed it and lifted it up, only to find there were very solid bricks beneath it. Kevin had come over to watch him work and when he saw what was beneath the grill he growled.

"What the hell is even the point of the grill being there?" He cried and a light bulb lit up in Edd's head at the words.

"… To slow us down…" Edd whispered, mostly to himself as he turned back to the walls, "That's it- there is a way out but by unlocking the first lock on the door we have now given our captor access to this room. As I looked about the room the first thing I would see would be the grill- it would take a bit of time to open it and there are probably many other things to confuse us. By the time we might of actually found the escape route our captor would have arrived. Of course they couldn't be sure I would walk around the room in this direction I might have gone anti clockwise instead so there are similar obstacles on that side. The safest option that would have taken the longest amount of time to get to is probably in the middle of the wall across from the door."

Edd scanned the wall carefully looking for anything unusual. He found it a decent way up the wall- there was a small patch of slightly darker grey compared to the rest of the wall.

"Kevin, come help me up I can't reach it alone." Edd requested.

"What? Why should I help you?"

"Because the man- or woman- who brought us here is probably relying on the fact that we don't get along to prevent us from escaping. Help me and we might actually be able to." Edd replied in an exasperated tone.

Kevin obliged begrudgingly and hoisted Edd up onto his shoulders, crinkling his nose at the other boy's stench. Edd managed to open up the escape passage quite easily and found on the other side was a series of tunnels he would most likely have to crawl through. He pulled himself into the hole and turned himself to look at Kevin.

"Ok! Now let me up." Kevin ordered but Edd hesitated.

"I am unsure as to whether I should or not… I could betray you now and make my own escape- before you can possibly betray me. Or I could let you up and risk you trying to capture me later."

"What, dude, no way- you can't actually be considering leaving me here! I'm not gonna try and catch you, or whatever, I just wanna get out of here!"

"Alright, alright- no need to shout. Who knows what attention you might attract." Edd murmured, offering his hand to Kevin. After much struggling he managed to pull the red head up beside him before turning and crawling through the maze of tunnels and Kevin found himself granted a fairly decent view of Edd's behind as he followed.


	6. Chapter 6: The escape

Hey guys- if you read my boarding school fanfiction you would already know this but for those who don't- sorry that this is later than usual mum wouldn't let me use my computer yesterday as she wanted me to do something "productive" but anyway new chapter! and we get more Rolf, yay! I really like writing as him though I'm not sure how well I actually do it. But anyway enjoy!

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They continued through the tunnels for a long time as Kevin and Edd had to go back a couple of times after coming to dead ends. Finally, though, Edd could feel a natural breeze wafting through the tunnel. He crawled forward eagerly and came to the end of the tunnel, a metal vent between him and freedom. He attempted to push against it but was not strong enough and opted to moving to the side as Kevin squeezed passed him to do it. He tested the vent briefly before giving a grunt and throwing himself towards it. With the force he used he managed to not only open the vent but send both it and himself flying out of the tunnels.

Edd followed more gracefully after him and found they were in some sort of field.

"Come," he called to Kevin who was picking himself off the ground, "Let's get as far away from here as possible so we can decide on our next move."

Kevin glowered at him, "I don't really like that tone- you're not that much of a genius, you know- I could have thought of that."

"Yes, yes, I'm sure you could have- well done." Edd replied walking off across the field and Kevin jogged after him.

"You're such a sassy bastard."

"Please refrain from using curse words in my presence for such meaningless things. Curse words were made as strong powerful words; I do not appreciate it when people throw them around so casually."

"Don't tell me one of the biggest villains of his time won't swear!"

"I never said that. For one thing I do swear, only when I truly mean it though. For another I am not the bad guy."

"Oh really?" Kevin asked incredulously, "Than please tell me, who the hell is? If someone who constantly comes up with plans to kidnap and steal isn't the bad guy who is?"

"I would like to point out I would gain nothing from those plans anyway and only participate in them due to Eddy's constant pestering."

"What do you mean you wouldn't gain anything?"

"Well, if we ever succeeded kidnapping Nazz it would be Eddy who would attempt to woo her and win her over and if we succeeded in stealing the jawbreakers it would be Eddy again who would get a majority if not all the profit."

"Why the fuck do you even participate then? Are you just some sadistic freak who likes to make a mess of things?"

Edd glanced at Kevin and muttered, "language, please Kevin. Also no, quite the contrary in fact I like to keeps things as clean as possible- I know you may not believe me looking at my own personal hygiene, but it is true. To be honest I try and avoid harming others but Eddy is my friend and as such I will aid him in his endeavours."

"Pretty shitty friend- You're a villain, an outcast because of him." Kevin said looking down at the fish head, _well okay he may still have been an outcast without Eddy's help._

"Kevin- can you not go one statement without a swear word? Also I'll have you know Eddy is a fine friend, much kinder than others have been and I do not feel one bit like an outcast. I have many friends whom we work with." Edd replied hotly glaring up at the red head.

"Okay, Okay! Didn't mean to upset you and I'll try not to swear as much…"

The two walked in an uncomfortable silence for a while until Edd spoke up, "To answer your earlier question I would say the bad guy is the one whom brought us to wherever we are right now."

Kevin laughed, "Yeah you're right about that."

They continued walking with a small amount of tension having lifted between them until they heard a quiet hum coming towards them. The two of them turned towards the noise to see a large blimp coming quickly across the field. Kevin jumped up, waving his arms and trying to catch their attention before Edd stopped him.

"Kevin, I don't think they're here to rescue us- I think _they_ are the 'bad guys'" Edd muttered and Kevin glanced at him.

"What? Don't be so suspicious! They're probably fine- no need to worry."

"When you've been through what I have you learn to be suspicious." Edd murmured, turning and grabbing Kevin's hand as he ran across the field. Kevin was a little shocked at how fast the boy could run and it took him a moment to realise what was happening.

"Hey! Why are we running! They're probably here to help us!"

"But "probably" is dangerous and shouldn't be trusted." Edd called back as he continued to sprint across the field.

Unfortunately his attempt at escape was useless as the blimp gained on them with incredible speed and, once over the top of them, the bottom opened up. From the hole something came out at them, enveloping Edd and Kevin in darkness and dragging them into the blimp as the two boys cried out the other's name.

Sarah and Jimmy walked together down the hall; they arrived at the door knocking sharply three times before opening it. When Sarah entered she was shocked at what she found. Ed ran towards her and pulled her into his arms.

"Little sister!"

"Wha- put me down you idiot! What are you even doing here?" Sarah growled looking around Rolf's lab wildly.

Nazz stood nearby, confused, "Sarah, you know the Eds?"

Ed finally released Sarah who turned to Nazz and sighed, "Yeah, I- He's my brother…"

Rolf turned away from his large computer screen and glanced between the two of them, "Ah, yes, Rolf sees the resemblance between you. So, Sarah is the dim wit Ed boy's sister? I suppose that counts as explanation enough for how they find our secrets, no?"

"I- uh… Yes…" Sarah admitted, looking at the ground.

Jimmy had been looking around the room at Johnny, Nazz, Eddy, Ed and Rolf and finally spoke up, "May I ask why the Eds are here anyway?"

"Ah, yes, Jimmy boy asks the big questions! We are both missing a team member and two heads are better than one, no? Or in this case there are 5 heads but so few are helpful."

"Right… Any luck finding them?"

""No, no. Rolf is quite sad, yes very sad, to say we have not."

"Well, Jimmy and I will help!" Sarah offered, "We want Double D back- and Kevin of course!"

"Most gracious of you- as you knew both the smart Ed boy and Casanova Kevin do you have any idea who might have taken them?"

Sarah thought for a moment but before she could think of anything Jimmy replied, "The only people I can really think of are the Kanker sisters…"


	7. Chapter 7: The suspects

New chapter! Sorry it's later than usual I went to Avcon this weekend so I didn't have much time. Anyway hope you guys like it.

Sam Owensby—steeveay

Joshua O' Hare—salemintheworks

Maelstrom Taylor—psych0-olll3city

Mitch Owens and Deluxe Pizza—jay-song

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Pizza burst through the door, "Kankers!" he yelled his voice echoing throughout the house as Mitch, Maelstrom, Sam and Josh followed behind him. A cackle filled the room as the three sisters entered the front looking over the boys gleefully.

"Well, lookee here!" Le growled.

"Some fine young men, hey?" Marie snarled viciously.

May giggled, "Come to ask for our hand in marriage, perhaps?"

"Where are they?" Maelstrom snapped, slamming his fist into the wall.

"They?" Lee asked curiously, "Who are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend you don't know!" Maelstrom yelled as Mitch cried, "Fish head and Kevin, of course!"

"Fish head… Double D?" Marie asked, "H-he's missing?"

The boys were caught off guard but stood their ground, passing it off as good acting on the Kanker's part, "Don't lie- we know you have them- there is no one else who could have." Josh muttered crossing the threshold to where the sisters stood.

Marie growled pulling back her arm before snapping it forward again, striking Josh across the face and leaving sharp cuts from her fingernails across his cheek, "how dare you even suggest that."

Josh clapped a hand to his face as blood dripped down it. Behind him Sam cried out and ran for him turning to the Kankers and muttering, "You're not doing much for your case by attacking him."

"He provoked me!" Marie snarled.

"Please!" Mitch cried from by the door, "We don't want to fight unless we have to. Unfortunately you three are the most likely suspects for the kidnap."

"Well, go to the next most likely then!" Lee demanded, the visible part of her face twisting up.

"There isn't anyone else!" Sam snapped, "You are the only people who would have any reason to kidnap both Kevin and the fish head."

"His name is Double D! His name is Edd!" Marie screeched, grabbing at her hair in frustration.

"Alright! Alright!" Maelstrom yelled over the wild screaming, "Everyone, calm the fuck down. Marie- I apologise, we will call him either Double D or Edd from now on. Lee, I'm sorry- we must question you as at this point in time you are our only suspects. Sam- Take Joshua to get some first aid, and May- no. We did not come to ask for your hand in marriage. I'm afraid I don't find any of you that desirable. Now if you would come with us so we can get this over with quickly and easily."

"Have they said anything yet?" Sarah asked as she entered the lab in which Rolf was watching security films of the Kankers being questioned.

"No, Rolf is thinking maybe the Kankers are not at fault- this time."

Nazz groaned from a corner in the room, "No we have nothing! I have had to put up with being in a room with two of our enemies and two traitors for days now, for what? Nothing! How do we know that fish head is even missing- they may just be using this as an excuse to get close to the jawbreakers."

Sarah glowered at her, "His name is Edd."

"Yeah and so is everyone else's on the freaking planet apparently! Ed, Edd and Eddy- how the hell did you guys even get together; do they just hold conventions for evil guys named Ed?"

Eddy snapped, "Yeah, right next to the one for snotty nosed bitches you always go to!"

"You didn't seem to think I was that bad when you were trying to kidnap me!"

"I'd never spoken to you before! Now I have though and I can see you are god damned awful."

"You're not too fantastic yourself, and I knew that before I'd spoken to you as well."

Eddy gave a low growl, "Yeah, whatever. I don't give a fuck, I'm just here for Double D. He- He's my best friend."

"Wait… You're not just here to get your "genius" back?"

"What? No! Fish head is-"

Nat interrupted him, "Wasn't Sarah just telling me off for calling him that… But here you are-"

"I'm his best freaking friend! He makes sarcastic comments towards me and I call him names- We're friends, we can do that- have you never had a friend before?"

"Well, no shit! I am here for Kevin because we're friends." Nazz retorted.

"You and Kevin? No way! He just protects you because it's his duty as some goody-two shoo super hero. He doesn't actually think of you as a friend!"

"Oh, what the fuck would you know?" Nazz screeched at him and Eddy was about to reply when Rolf interrupted them.

"Please. Stop. You are giving Rolf a head ache!" He moaned and the two pouted and turned away from each other.

Ed in the corner grinned goofily and yelled joyfully, "Hate is the first step towards love!"

"You're a moron, Ed. Nothing you say makes sense." Eddy replied grouchily.

Once again Kevin was the first to wake up in his and Edd's new cell. This one seemed to be made of glass. He looked over at the sleeping Edd whom was talking in his sleep.

"Kevin, I told you. I told you they weren't good… -en to me… Idiot."

He laughed softly before frowning, he was right- he had told him and now here they were trapped yet again. This time Kevin suspected it would be harder to escape.

Edd stirred in his sleep, blinking his eyes groggily as he took in where they were. When he did he turned on Kevin.

"I told you!" He cried, "I told you but you just didn't believe me!"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry- you were right!" Kevin sniggered at the boy flapping his arms wildly in front of him.

"Yet you have the audacity to laugh?" Edd miffed, "Do you understand our situation?"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. That old cell was like a joke or something." Kevin muttered, "A game."

"Yes, that's right- a joke! This means now that we're in this cell without a door that I can see we have no chance of escape."

Before Kevin could reply the two heard footsteps approaching and looking out of their glass cell saw a door open at the other end of the room they were situated in. A man entered smirking to himself as he strode into the room.

"Sorry I caused you so much panic in that fun little show- see I never learned not to play with my food… Well I was told, I just didn't really care." He laughed to himself, "Oh, and by the way I can honestly tell you that you can't escape from there. The glass is, of course, bullet proof and even your strength, Kevin, or your wit, Edd, can't break through it. Also notice the lack of doors? Yes, well, you are, actually, in more of a glass tub tipped upside down- like when you catch a bug between a cup and a piece of paper. If you look above you, you will see a serious of mechanism that keeps you from being able to knock this "tub" over by applying pressure to the top. So don't try- you will just wear yourself out."

Edd nodded while Kevin stared at the man in confusion, slowly working through what he said to understand it- it all came to one thing 'there was no escape.'

"Excuse me," Edd spoke up and the man outside their cell turned to him with interest, "If you wouldn't mind could you tell me who you are and why exactly you have brought us here?"

"Short answer; no." The man answered, grinning smugly, "I only told you about your cells security so as to avoid you wasting your time or hurting yourself. Telling you who I am and why I brought you here isn't necessary and serves absolutely no purpose."

"Serves no purpose? You think it isn't fucking necessary?" Kevin blurted and Edd sighed.

"Kevin-"

"No. It serves a purpose because unless you tell me I'll waste my time, tire myself out and hurt myself. How's that? Think you can deal with me when I want to be rowdy?" As he finished speaking Kevin began screaming, running and jumping around as though his pants were on fire.

"Oh dear lord, he's an idiot." Edd murmured to himself turning away from Kevin to try and avoid the second-hand embarrassment he was feeling.

Their captor just laughed and after a short goodbye left the room leaving Kevin to hop around his cell for a few minutes more before he realised the man was gone.

"Fucking asshole thinks he can lock us up here without telling us why!"

"Kevin- language." Edd muttered curtly, sitting down against the glass wall of the cell to prepare himself for the long wait for either someone to save them or for their captor to do whatever it was he was planning.

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Are things starting to come together yet for you guys? Hope you enjoyed it atleast and stay tuned for the next chapter. Also don't forget to check out the Dirt and Soap tag on tumblr tagged/dirt+and+soap for art and character profiles and things. Well until next time!


	8. Chapter 8: The waiting

New chapter! Hope you all enjoy it and everything. I go back to school tomorrow (and first thing up I have a Japanese test when we just had one on the last day of school as well *sigh*) Anyway thanks for the reviews- keep sending them!

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"You let them go?" Nazz cried in exasperation.

"They obviously knew nothing about Kevin and the smart-Ed-boy's whereabouts, why keep them around?" Rolf replied calmly.

"But they're still crazy and evil!" Eddy yelled shocked that the Kankers had been freed.

"So are you- but you would not be so happy to be locked up once this is over would you? We made a promise to the both of you that we would not lock you up and we do not break promises. That would be the lowest of the low."

"I'm not evil or crazy… I'm a little rash at times but other than that…"

"Not evil, how so? You have attempted to steal jawbreakers and kidnap me for years!" Nazz questioned.

"I like to think of it as breaking the system. See, I'm not like the other citizens here who are fine with the fact that no matter what they do they won't be able to get the taste of a jawbreaker, they'll never be looked up to as heroes. Instead they are stuck looking up to others who are apparently heroes for protecting a type of food only they will ever be able to eat anyway. What kind of hero is that? Yet, despite the fact they use their powers for such selfish reasons _they _get the admiration, _they _are wealthy beyond belief and _they _get the girl. Or guy, I suppose."

"That's ridiculous, what about that massive fucking robot you built?" Nazz retorted.

"That was one of my less sane ideas I'll admit, but did anyone actually die?"

"No, but there are hundreds in hospital who might because of your foolishness."

"Well, I had planned for Edd to take care of them later but as you know he is unable to."

"Whatever, I don't believe any of that bullshit." Nazz replied hotly and Eddy snorted.

_"The most recent attack from the Eds was catastrophic. It ended with many hospitalized and though no one died the list of injuries is very extensive. On top of this two people went missing, Kevin Barr from the Eiyutekis and one of the Eds themselves. Currently the Eds and the Eiyutekis are working together to search for them and Eddy, the head of the Eds has promised once he is found Edd shall work on treating the patients whose injuries have yet to heal. So far though they have found nothing. They questioned the Kankers but unfortunately it became apparent they knew nothing of Kevin and Edd's whereabouts. Thought they promise they will keep up the search they have no more leads at this point in time."_

Rose sighed, "Looks like there's still no information on them. But atleast this time Pen and Boston got the story right."

Pierce looked over at her, "Of course- in previous articles they have only been able to hear the Eiyutekis side of the story, now, though, Eddy and Ed are able to give their own little input."

"That's true… Well anyway I actually have to go and meet Pen and Boston now, so I'll see you later, ok? Call me if the Double D situation changes at all, will you?"

"Of course." Pierce replied as Rose grabbed her bag and left the house.

"Boston, Pen! Sorry I'm late."

"Rose! Good to see you!" Pen replied happily.

"So have you read our latest article?" Boston asked.

"Yeah, that's pretty exciting- the Eds and the Eiyutekis are working together, huh?" The three walked through the park's entrance and made their way down the pathway.

"Yep, though I'm not sure how much help they will be seeing as the smartest of them is the one who is missing." Boston smirked and Rose stifled a laugh, Eddy would not be happy to hear that.

"Still I wonder how the people are all reacting to this. I mean it is right after they brought that robot down on the city." Pen murmured, "They can't be too happy the Eds are now working with the Eiyutekis."

The three of them stopped walking as they came to a park bench and sat down. Slowly they moved off the topic of the newly formed alliance and to the different possibilities of where Edd and Kevin could be. It was, of course simply to pass the time and they didn't expect to come up with anything as the day wore on.

When it came around for meal time a young woman entered the room Kevin and Edd's cell was sitting in. She went across the room to a vast array of computers and screens. After working a little bit on one screen a hole in the floor of their cell opened up. It was small, much too small for even Edd to get through if he would even have the time as the food was deposited in their cell rather quickly before the hole closed up again. Edd sighed as he made his way over to the food, their captor really had thought this all through. But the real question was why? Why go to all this effort for them? Neither Kevin nor Edd recognised the man, though Edd did find his face a little familiar, and they had nothing in common- why would this man want both Edd and Kevin?

He shook his head and took one of the bags of food as Kevin took the other. The two of them ate in silence and when they'd finished, not knowing what to do with the bags their food had come in, Edd folded them and put them in the corner of their cell.

With that done Edd sat down, leaning against the wall again. He just didn't know what to do with himself, their captor had told them not to bother trying to escape but there was nothing else for the genius to do in the empty cell. There was Kevin, certainly, but Edd had decided attempting to hold a conversation would be more tiring than it was worth. Kevin, however, didn't seem to have come to the same conclusion.

"Oi fish head!"

"Kevin, if you plan on talking to me please call me either Edd or Double D."

"Double D?" He questioned.

"My name is spelt with two ds instead of the usual spelling with only one d." Edd answered curtly.

"Okey dokey, double dork." Kevin replied and Edd frowned at the new nickname, "anyway, I figured if we're being kept in this cell with nothing to do for god knows how long we could at least try and get along. Get to know each other better, or something."

"Really?" Edd muttered disinterestedly.

"Yeah, like… What's your favourite colour?"

_Oh, small talk, joy! _Edd thought to himself as he answered, "my favourite colour would most probably be green."

"Green, huh? Yeah green is awesome- if you can't tell by my outfit I like it heaps."

"Oh, wowie, how interesting- we share the same favourite colour." Edd murmured but Kevin seemed to miss the tone of sarcasm.

"Yeah, see! We probably have a bunch of stuff in common with each other!" He grinned thinking of another question, "What's your favourite animal?"

"That is a hard one, there are many interesting animals, I am quite partial to cats, but sea animals interest me greatly, especially things such as angler fish and the mantis shrimp…"

"Yep, cool…" Kevin replied nodding, "Ok… then… Why are you always covered in shit and wearing that fish hat? I haven't seen you take it off once."

Edd immediately became more distant turning away from Kevin slightly as he muttered, "it's a long story…"

Kevin frowned before pointing out, "We have a lot of time to pass."

Edd looked up at him and sighed, "Ok, ok…" He didn't know why he was giving in so easily, maybe lack of sleep was giving him poor judgement but nevertheless he began his tale.

* * *

A bit of a cliff hanger, hey? Sorry... about that... Well, until next time!


	9. Chapter 9: The story

_Ok new chapter hope you like it- we get a look at Edd's backstory (at least some of it) so enjoy and tell me what you think send me a review or whatever! Thanks!_

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_As a young child Edd was adored by his parents. They loved showing off his huge mind to their colleagues who came over for dinner parties and would often find excuses to bring him to work to show how quiet he was and how, as they worked on their own things, he would diligently solve math questions and research topics far higher a level than someone of his age would normally be capable of understanding. But as his mind grew more and he learnt even more he began getting opinions of his own at a younger age than most. It is said that most children don't grow their own opinions until after the age of ten and until then their opinions are just a mix of the grownups in their lives, namely their parents. But Edd reached this stage at a much earlier stage in his life and without the restraint an older child would have and still containing some of his child-like innocence he spoke freely of them._

_His parents no longer cared for him as much. He was an embarrassment at dinner parties when he started spurting his own opinions which were, while very intelligent and logical, opposing of the company his parents worked for and their ideals. They would find excuses to have dinner parties at another colleague's home and leave him on his own in their house. They no longer bothered taking him when they went away on work trips instead telling him he was smart enough to take care of himself and leaving notes around the house to instruct him of the chores he was required to complete. Edd worked diligently cleaning everything until it sparkled to show his parents how well behaved he was. They never noticed. When he woke up the morning after a business trip and the beginning of a new one he would find a full fridge, an empty house and a new set of chores to complete. Edd didn't let himself be discouraged by this and continued working hard. His innocence allowed him to believe he could win their affection._

_His parents, who never forgot about any small details, almost forgot Edd was to be sent to school soon. Luckily they remembered in time to apply him to the local school. Upon entering school it was obvious he was incredibly intelligent, much more so than most students in the school. He was quickly put up into a grade that might be more suitable for his brain. It was still tediously easy. Yet, despite his efforts, his topping of all his classes in a class filled with students much older than him he never received praise. He came home to a set of notes which among chores to be completed instructed him of things in himself he needed to correct. He made sure to complete them diligently. He attended school, even when he was sick, and he completed all his work perfectly. To his teachers he was the "perfect" student, to his peers he was an "odd" child and to his parents he was nothing. But Edd still did not realise it, still being a young child he thought of his parents as gods and he could not believe they did not love him. He had faith. He was naïve._

_In his first year of high school, after skipping a few more years, his parents' notes stopped appearing. The fridge no longer filled itself up and the bills stacked up. Eventually he was no longer able to use the water or electricity. Edd went to school hungry and smelly, only getting half his homework done as some of it required computers and he could no longer work when it got dark as his lights didn't work. His teachers thought he had been moved to many grades up, high school was too much for such a young boy, his peers avoided him and his parents- who knows. But Edd could keep it up, if nothing but for appearances. It couldn't go for much longer anyway his parents were bound to come home eventually, atleast that's how he managed to get to sleep at night. Eventually he could no longer be bothered attending school. Occasionally he went for the first period but would sneak out later. His perfect record was ruined. Yet Edd felt freer than he could remember feeling ever. No more having to clean the house, or himself, no worrying about his parent's affection or anything. He just sat in his filth all day. Until the owner of the house came after not receiving payment for the last few months his parents after all were renting the house. Edd opened the door and the man looked down at the dirty scrawny boy with bags under his eyes and a lazy grin. He could see something was wrong and wanted to bring the boy to the police station. Edd saw right through him. He didn't want his new found freedom taken away and he ran. He no longer had faith in other people and their intentions. He was no longer naïve, he was no longer innocent._

_Edd found an empty alley to hide in and, no longer caring for his hygiene, lay down without a second thought to sleep. He was too weak to do anything else for himself and he quickly fell unconscious. Edd was found passed out in the alley by a short boy, the same age as Edd. He was smelly, dirty, and frail and on top of everything he had a dead fish on his head. The boy thought he was unique. The boy woke him up and helped him to his home. Once there he fed him until he was strong enough to stand on his own and guided him to the bathroom. But Edd refused to wash himself and the shorter boy just passed it up as one of his more "interesting" traits. Instead of forcing him to "rid himself of his freedom" as Edd put it he decided to introduce Edd to the other residents in the house. For some reason Edd felt he could trust the boy, though he found himself annoyed at admitting it to himself. He still really was naïve._

_The shorter boy was surprised to find they had similar names, his being Eddy. He quickly gave him the nickname Double D, saying it would be confusing otherwise as another boy shared the name Ed. Despite this nickname Eddy soon replaced it with a more mocking one, Fish head. Edd didn't mind and followed Eddy eagerly to meet the other people who lived there. Ed thought he was an alien, Pierce found his lack of hygiene disgusting and Rose couldn't stop giggling for long enough to explain what she thought of him. Edd soon learned she was like this with most things. He decided he liked it here and though his child-like thoughts and innocence was long gone he found he could trust these people and came to realise not all people were as bad as his parents. Eventually Edd took the dead fish off his head but only when he'd created a replacement made of rubber. When Eddy saw his ingenuity he knew he had been right. Edd was unique._

Kevin sat back taking in Edd's story. When he was finished he leaned forward, still confused, "So the reason you're dirty as hell is because it makes you feel free and you don't want your freedom taken away?"

"I suppose that is one of the main reasons… It's sort of a safety blanket."

"That's… ridiculous. I mean, Jesus, look at you now; stuck in a cell- not really "free." You really feel "safe" because you're covered in shit despite the fact we're being kept here against our will by some maniac for a reason we don't know yet?"

"Do not tell me it is ridiculous!" Edd snapped and Kevin was caught by surprise at his sudden anger and how fearsome he looked, "You cannot even _begin_ to comprehend. You have absolutely _no _idea and I refuse to listen to you telling me I am being ridiculous. You were not there. You do not know, cannot know what goes on in my mind. It is far more complex than yours. So don't tell me I am ridiculous! I am a genius!"

Kevin regained his composure and shrugged, "Even geniuses have flaws."

"Who are you to tell me what they are?" Edd whispered harshly his teeth gritting together, "Who are you to tell me what parts of myself I need to correct?"

Kevin sighed, "You're right, I- I may have spoken a bit irrationally and without thinking…"

"I'm glad you came to that realisation- I'd hate to regret telling you what I just did."

Kevin smiled wearily before turning away, his thoughts going wild, _I know he says not to decide his flaws for him… But he really needs to move past his past. He can't really live happily unless he gets over it… At least not as happy as he could be. _Kevin didn't know why but for some reason he found he wanted to be the one to help him.


	10. Chapter 10: The start of something

hey guys sorry for the super long break- I had a snow tour with my school for a week and yeah- a whole bunch of stuff came up. ANyway enjoy

rave belongs to kirakuury or eyugho now

Ailey belongs to Saltymarshmallow

Reade belongs to imaybewearingtights

also small reference to Harvey Miller who belongs to sableaire

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Kevin blinked away sleep and moved himself from the awkward position he had been sleeping in. As he did he noticed Edd pacing their cell, obviously in deep thought. He got up and frowned.

"Hey dork, what are you thinking about?"

"Kevin, do you plan on making a habit out of calling me a dork?" Edd muttered dryly not even turning to look at the red head.

"It's not meant to be offensive… Well, not really…"

"Well, that's all very good and nice but I still don't appreciate it."

"Alright, then, Eddward. What are you thinking about?"

"I may have an idea." He replied quietly, smiling smugly to himself.

"A plan…? As in a way out?" Kevin asked excitedly, "Wait… But didn't the guy say there was no way out?"

"He said it would be impossible to escape even with your strength or my wit. What he did not say was that it would be impossible to escape with your strength _and_ my wit. Using your super human strength and my super intelligence and knowledge of physics I'm sure we could find a way out."

Kevin was completely awake now and grinned, "So what's the plan? What do I do?"

Edd turned and gave him such a disdainful look Kevin could feel it bearing down on him, "While I have the beginnings of a plan you cannot expect me to complete it in one morning."

"Oh, right- take your time… I'll just be sitting over here… Not much else I can do…"

"Oh, Kevin, are you feeling like some useless weight lifter?" Edd asked in a half-mocking tone.

Kevin frowned, "You know- you really do suit the evil guy, you've got the right personality for it and everything."

Edd blinked in shock not only at the comment but at how hurt he felt because of it. He stood there for a few moments before shaking his head and continuing to make his plan but he couldn't concentrate. After a few minutes he gave up with a loud sigh and walked over to where Kevin was sitting.

"I'm… Sorry." He muttered, turning his head so he didn't have to look him in the eye. He looked back when he heard stifled laughter from Kevin.

"Oh, god- We're both so stupid and childish!" he laughed, "getting into fights over such stupid-ass things."

"Yes… I do suppose this is all rather ridiculous…"

Kevin smiled softly, "Well, whatever, it's cool- You can go back to thinking up an escape plan."

Edd shook his head and sat down next to Kevin, "I am afraid I am having trouble concentrating… If you would like we could… talk?"

Kevin looked at him in surprise, "Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

Edd thought for a moment before grinning at Kevin, "What does a jawbreaker taste like?"

Kevin didn't answer for a moment, caught up in the fact that it was the first time he'd actually seen Edd smile and then wondering why he even cared, eventually though, he grinned back and replied, "Uh, I dunno… It's hard to explain… Like sugar I guess."

"Well, yes, I guess it would seeing as that is the core ingredient…"

"Yup; sugar, corn starch, gum arabix, mock flavouring and colouring, carnauba wax and _love_!" Kevin listed using a low growl for the word 'love.'

"Oh, so that's the secret ingredient that prevents ordinary people from producing it, is it?" Edd laughed.

"Ooh! Was that you're attempt to find out what the secret ingredient in the famous jawbreakers is?" Kevin joked.

"It would be a weak attempt if it were." Edd smirked as the two continued chatting- much more at ease with each other than they had been just a few minutes ago.

"Woah, you're actually doing something other than sulking!" Ailey cried as she entered the hospital room to find Rave working on the floor on something.

He raised an eyebrow at her before turning back to his work, "Apparently Kevin and one of the Eds have gone missing. The Ed that went missing was supposedly very intelligent and underneath all that bad guy mojo a decent guy and was planning on helping those with injuries from their last scheme. He can't do that unless he's here though- so, once we find him he'll be able to help Nat."

"Is that so? And you trust these bad guys who are the reason Nat's like this in the first place?" Ailey questioned, unconvinced that any of the Eds could have any morals.

Rave looked up at her unblinking and replied coolly, "I have no other choice, do I? Other than just sit by and do nothing while Nat's life saps away."

"Yes, but who knows what the Eds are actually planning this could be some large plot! You could be putting Nat and everyone else in more peril!" Ailey cried, "They're the evil guys- they obviously have ulterior motives."

"What you don't understand is how little I care- I'd rather do something that might help Nat and risk hurting everyone than I would to just let him die!"

"That's so selfish! How can you eve-"

"Yes, I am selfish! OK, I'll do whatever pleases me! I'll do whatever it takes for Nat."

"Are you even sure Nat would be happy with that?" Ailey asked him, "That he would let you risk the populace of the town he has spent his life protecting?"

"I already mentioned I am selfish- why would I care whether or not Nat is happy…" Rave muttered.

"Because you obviously do." Ailey sighed, sitting down next to Rave.

Rave looked up to her, his lip wobbled slightly but he bit down on it and he screwed his face up tightly.

"It's ok… I don't know why you seem to think it's a bad thing to care about someone and their happiness. It's not a bad thing to care- or to feel sad when someone you care about is hurt. You don't need to pretend to be some moody jerk- you can let out emotions other than mild annoyance. You can cry, you know. Because you obviously care about Nat and honestly no one can blame you for wanting to cry."

A small sob escaped Rave, "Of course I do- of course I care about Nat that's why I'm doing all of this. That's why I'm holding onto hope that the Eds are being honest." He trailed off as he became a mess of sobs and tears and Ailey placed her arm around his shoulder.

They sat like that for an hour or so before Rave rubbed his eyes and pulled away from Ailey, "I'm sorry- I know it's a big risk but this is my only hope so I have to try and search for the smarter Ed and Kevin."

Ailey sighed, standing up to leave, "Ok, but if it brings about the end of the world I'm blaming you."

Rave smiled wearily as he watched her leave. As soon as she walked out into the hall she was knocked to the ground and she looked up to see a small child who had obviously been running down the halls. He grinned sheepishly at her.

"Sorry!" he said, "I was given the important job of making the patients here feel better so I had to go quick, quick!"

Ailey gave a laugh as she got back to her feet, "It's fine- if you don't mind me asking who gave you this important job?"

"Uh… I can't remember his name… But he's the leader of the ramen rangers!"

Ailey grinned, "The ramen rangers?"

"Yeah! I met him 'cause he saved me from being stepped on by the big robot thing… Oh my name's Reade by the way."

"Well, Reade- there is a person inside that room who needs quite a bit of cheering up- you think you can handle it?"

"Yeah!" Reade cried and ran past Ailey and into the room without another word. Ailey smiled to herself as she walked back down the corridors and out of the hospital. Hopefully Rave was right about the Eds. She really hoped they could be trusted.


	11. Chapter 11: The Captor's Identity

Hey guys new chapter- sorry my school has gotten really busy lately and I am having trouble keeping up so there may be larger breaks between each chapter. Don't worry though, I'll keep working hard!

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Kevin had nodded while Edd explained his plan in hushed whispers but in reality he had a lot of questions. He thought the plan would be simple- just a bit of ingenuity from the fish head, simple, easy to understand words… But Edd had just started spewing mathematic equations and scientific formulas and Kevin became completely lost at what was going on. Something about point of pressure? Luckily for him, though, after going over the whole plan Edd explained exactly what it was Kevin had to do in much simpler words.

"So to break out of the cell you have to hit the glass side as hard as you can but hit the smallest area possible. Also I will tell you what point of the glass you should hit as that will be the most fragile point. Hopefully the glass should break and while it may not make a big enough hole for us to escape from it will be the beginnings of one and you will be able to make it larger easily. Then we have to somehow find our way out of this place… Before we can do this though I have some extra things to prepare… We will probably be ready to commence our plan tonight. Until then just preserve your strength… Maybe do some warm ups in the evening."

Kevin grinned, "Sure thing, Double D!"

Edd returned his smile before standing up to walk around the cell in deep thought, occasionally bringing one hand up to touch the cell walls. Kevin stayed seated, leaning back against the wall and wondering what he would do once they were free.

_I guess Edd and I will have to say good bye to each other, huh? That's pretty lame… I was just getting used to the guy… I could always offer a spot on the eiyuutekis- he's super smart we'd be lucky to have him he'd just need to leave the other two Eds… Yeah, but he'd never do that, would he? He already told me how much they mean to him…_

Kevin sighed, his smile disappearing, Edd turned to him and cocked his head to one side, "Is everything alright, Kevin?"

"Yeah, I just- I, Uh, don't worry…"

"Kevin, you should tell me if there's a flaw in my plan…"

"What? Wai- no it's not your plan. I just was thinking about when we get out of here we probably won't see each other again except on opposite sides of the battle ground…"

Edd looked thoughtful for a moment, "We could always meet up in our spare time…"

Kevin raised an eyebrow at him, "Aren't you supposed to be a genius? That would never work- you're the villain, I'm the good guy- I'm meant to try and arrest you, get rid of you, I'm meant to hate you!"

Edd shrugged, "Oh well, then… I guess it's for the best… We can't exactly just stay here."

Kevin sighed again and Edd laughed softly, "I'm sure you'll be fine, Kevin. Even without me."

"Well, I have lived my whole life so far without you, so of course I will- it's a question of whether I want to or not." Kevin replied smirking.

"Oh, so our hero finally has to sacrifice something he wants, hey?" Edd mocked.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean; I've had to sacrifice a whole bunch, you know, being a hero isn't as easy and fun as it seems."

"Believe it or not neither is 'being the bad guy.'" Edd replied, still grinning at Kevin.

Kevin looked at him and frowned, "I actually can believe that."

The alarms rang through the air, giving Edd a head ache. Kevin had, surprisingly easily, broken through the cells glass wall but as soon as he had a high pitched wailing had started up, no doubt alerting their captor what had happened. Before Edd could even grasp the situation, though, Kevin was picking him up in his arms as he ram through the rest of the glass, flying through to the other side. He ran to the door smashing that open as well, all the while holding Edd in one arm as he ran down the hallway. It seemed, despite Edd's intelligence when it came to making quick decisions Kevin was better off. Edd decided Kevin must play a lot of video games.

Kevin continued to run down the hall until he came to an open which he ran through, closing the door behind him and setting Edd down.

"You OK?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Mm. Fine." Edd mumbled in reply, turning to look through the room they were in.

It was practically spotless, plain furniture with nothing decorating them and nothing placed on any of the surfaces. Except one thing. On a chest of drawers sat a broken picture frame and, when Edd lifted it up, among the shards of glass was the photo it used to hold. He picked it up to get a closer look and saw it was a photo of their captor as a younger teenager next to an even younger boy.

Kevin stood behind him trying to look over his shoulder, "Hey what's that?"

"K-Kevin… I think I may have worked out who our captor is…"

"What? Who? And how?" Kevin cried in a harsh whisper.

"I thought he looked familiar and now I suppose it must be because of family resemblance… It appears he's actually Eddy's brother."

"What? So that dork was the one behind it all along?" Kevin grabbed the photo from Edd looking over it.

"No! No, I cannot believe that. Eddy hasn't even spoken to his brother in years. Though he does have a brother complex… I believe that came from always being mocked and hurt by his brother- if you look at that photo you can see even in front of the camera he is belittling Eddy. Even so I have no clue why he has locked us up… He did seem to only be after you- I was just an extra catch and Eddy hates you too so I have no idea why he would-"

"It's because he probably is working with Eddy anyway!" Kevin stated.

Edd shook his head, "No, I don't think so at all. Maybe he also wanted to try a jawbreaker… Or maybe he thought Eddy would get the blame for kidnapping you and therefore have him searched for even more… I don't know… It's impossible to work out what such a crazy man could be thinking…"

"Crazy? Hey, I take offense to that." A voice murmured from the shadows and Edd shrieked as he was dragged away by Kevin again, Eddy's brother in hot pursuit.

Kevin looked down at Edd as he ran, "So what's the plan?"

Edd looked up, grinned sheepishly and shrugged, "basically just get out of here alive…"

"Yeah great idea, genius but execution is most important, don't you think? So we need to work out how exactly we're meant to do that."

Edd thought for a moment before saying, "Put me down at the next intersection and we'll split up, that's all you need to know for now."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Yes. Don't worry I won't leave this place without you." Edd said as they neared the next cross-intersection in the halls. Kevin dropped Edd who ran to the left without missing a beat as Kevin continued to go forward. Eddy's brother continued to chase Kevin.

Edd sprinted down the hall as fast as he could carry himself, he felt his breath coming in gasps as he continued to run and his fish head was heavy on his shoulders. Still, he refused to remove it. He had no idea if he was going the right way, at each turn he just went by his gut feeling and intuition until he finally reached what he thought to be the right door. He opened it and stepped inside.

"Jack pot." He murmured looking around at the belongings Kevin and he had had taken off of him when they were first brought here.

He grabbed and stored as many as he could before leaving the room. This time as he went through the halls he did so at a much slower pace, lurking in the shadows and keeping an eye out for anything wrong. He was happy to find that the next room he was searching for was not only in the same stretch of the hall as the room he had just exited but labelled as well. _Oh, how I love labels! _He thought to himself turning the door knob.

The security room was just how he had hoped it would be, filled with TVs showing different parts of the mansion he was currently stuck in. He saw Kevin run across one of the screens, still followed by Eddy's brother and smiled, glad he had not been captured. There was a blue print on the table of the mansion and Eddy looked through it, carefully memorising it. When he was done he looked back at the screens, Kevin was running nearby Edd just had to get to him. He ran out and towards where Kevin was running about, as soon as he spotted Edd Kevin ran to him grabbed him and soared up into the air. Edd looked at him in shock, he'd forgotten of Kevin's ability of flight. _That would have been helpful earlier _he thought before speaking to Kevin.

"Kevin I know where the exit is, you continue flying and I will direct you, alright?"

"Good work, Genius, looks like we'll actually be able to escape this hell hole."

* * *

looks like you now know who their captor is! hope you enjoyed


	12. Chapter 12: The short-lived reunion

New chapter! Hope you all enjoy! pierce belongs to frosty-butt, Nat belongs to c2ndy2c1d, Rave belongs to kirakurry or eyugho and Rose belongs to me

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"That way! Turn that way!"

"Right or left? I can't pay attention to where you're pointing and where I am going dork."

"Right, and don't call me dork."

Kevin merely grunted in response turning right, Edd stretched his neck to look down the hall and grinned, they'd done it, "The door is there- see just over there!"

"Again, give me clear directions!" Kevin growled.

"Straight ahead, straight ahead!"

"Alright, alright! Calm the fuck down." Kevin muttered, rolling his eyes as Edd grabbed hold of his arm.

"You're telling me to calm down? I can feel you shaking."

"Shut up!"

They were approaching the door now and Kevin flung his legs forward, kicking it open. It flew off its hinges and Kevin followed after it into the sunlight he and Edd hadn't seen for so long. He stopped for a moment to adjust his eyes before Edd urged him to keep going- in case Eddy's brother tried to chase them in his blimp once again. He soared through the air, not once complaining about having to carry Edd.

Rose walked down the foot path with Pierce, neither one talking. Despite Edd's disappearance Pierce and Rose had continued life as they normally would. Rose remained obnoxiously loud and cheerful and Pierce stayed his usual sarcastic, uninterested self. But deep down they both had begun seriously worrying about Edd. He'd been gone for so long.

They couldn't know that at that very second Edd was approaching their city, safe in Kevin's arms.

Rose kicked at a loose stone, looking at the sky, as she did so Edd and Kevin flew into view. She stared in shock before coming to her senses and calling out to them. Kevin looked down at her and looked as though he was about to continue anyway before Edd shouted out.

"Rose! Pierce! Kevin, Kevin- take us down."

Begrudgingly, Kevin did as he was told and when he set Edd down Rose wrapped her arms around the fishhead. She pulled back, grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh my God- I'm so glad you're safe! What happened to you? Wait… We'd better take you to Ed and Eddy, they're with the Eiyutekis. Let's go then."

Edd and Kevin stared at her with blank looks, "Why are they with the Eiyutekis?"

Rose ignored him, grabbing his hand and dragging him along. Kevin hurried to keep up and Pierce sighed and walked slowly behind them, his own greeting of Edd could wait. It didn't take long for them to reach the large building of the Eiyutekis and when they did, Kevin passed Edd and Rose and knocked promptly on the door.

Shuffling could be heard on the other side of the door as whoever was on the other side looked through the peep hole before throwing the door open.

"Kevin!" Nazz cried, hugging him, "Come inside… All of you."

"Don't mind if I do!" Rose laughed, stepping into the mansion.

Nazz lead them to the room Ed, Eddy and Rolf were working in and after being warmly greeted by them all Eddy spoke up.

"Fish head, really'd love to hear your whole story but right now we gotta get you to the hospital. There weren't many people injured from that robot but there are a couple that you should help… Including Nat."

"Nat?" Kevin cried, "Is he alright?"

"He will be." Eddy muttered, "If Double D attends to him- he's been unconscious since the robot attack."

Before Edd could get a word in edge wise he was dragged away to play doctor. Kevin watched them go and frowned.

"Why were you and the Eds working together anyway?" He asked Nazz.

"We decided it would be easier to find you two if we worked with one another."

Kevin nodded, "Yeah- but in the end you didn't even find us, Edd and I escaped ourselves."

"By working together?" Kevin nodded, Nazz paused for a moment- she could tell Kevin was holding something back and after a moment she realised what it was, "Wait, don't tell me you've gotten to know and like him!"

"Well, a bit… he's kinda cool… But you know what ever… It's impossible for us to be friends."

"It doesn't have to be… Maybe this is a chance to put our differences aside and befriend the Eds."

"But I don't even- I can't just-"

"Look," Nazz interrupted, "take one step at a time. Go visit him at the hospital… In fact we should thank him for treating the injured- even though it was his fault- buy him flowers as a thanks from all of us."

"But-" Kevin began doubtfully.

"Go!" Nazz cried and Kevin knew better than to argue.

Edd had been working for ten hours straight and had cleared most of the patients- including all of the most serious ones. Even Nat was, at that moment, waking up groggily with Rave sitting by him. Edd rubbed his eyes tiredly, he needed a coffee desperately if he planned to continue like this.

He was making his way to the hospital's small café when he was stopped by a nurse, "Excuse me… Edd?"

Edd turned to her, she seemed extremely nervous, "Yes?"

"There is someone out the front of the hospital for you."

Edd nodded and headed to the hospital's entrance. Kevin was standing a few metres away from the entrance, his back turned and holding flowers in one hand. Before Edd could head over to him, as he guessed he was the one who called him out a hand grabbed his wrist and when he turned he found himself staring into Eddy's brother's eyes. He clamped his other hand over Edd's mouth and Edd could feel something cold and hard in the man's hand.

"You know," Eddy's brother snarled, "You were right back then… I do love messing with my brother. He was always such a pussy, never willing to actually kill someone for what he wanted. I thought, 'hey if I kidnap Kevin and take their whole house in the middle of his scheme those idiot Eiyutekis will think it's him. Even with him being the coward he is he'll be searched for as if he was the most dangerous criminal the world has known.' Unfortunately, you happened to be in the house at the same time. Yet that worked even better, seeing how worked up he got- even going to his enemies for help!" He laughed, "You have to wonder what would happen if something serious happened to you. See, unlike him I'm not afraid of anything- if there's something I want I'll do anything for it; even kill. Because I really am the dangerous criminal the world has ever seen!"

At these words he took his hand away from Edd's mouth and Edd saw the object he held in his hand; a knife. Edd cried for help as Eddy's brother flipped the knife in his and directed it towards Edd, though Edd could already see it was futile.

The last thing he heard was a voice screaming out his name.


	13. Chapter 13: The hats

Sorry this is a little later than I usually update but anyway hope you guys enjoy. I have two weeks of holidays now and for my report card this term I got 6 As and 1 B so I'm feeling pretty happy- but you guys aren't interested in that so without further ado I give you the next chapter of Dirt and Soap.

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Kevin paced around the room nervously, the constant tapping noise his shoes made giving Nazz a head ache. She rubbed her temples and decided to speak up, holding herself back from shouting at him.

"If you're so worried just go check on him at the hospital, I don't even know why you left in the first place. I mean from what you told me you just paid for his hospital expenses left the flowers by his bed and came back here- to my house of all places."

"But Eddy and Ed are with him, they're his child hood friends, I'd just be in the way- I haven't known him as long or gone through the kinds of things they went through together…" Kevin murmured, so softly Nazz had to strain herself to hear him. "I would be out of place there."

"You're out of place here!" Nazz cried pointedly, "You haven't even stayed in the same place for more than a second; you've been pacing around since you arrived."

"I'm just a little worried…"

"A little?" Nazz raised an eyebrow before continuing, "You know if you check on him he might even be awake and well, put your mind to rest."

"Or he could be dead." Kevin stated bluntly.

Nazz didn't have anything to say to that, she merely sighed and said, "Just go. You're stressing me out now."

"I dunno-"

"Please, just go, Kevin, it'll be better for both of you."

Kevin opened his mouth to protest before losing it again, nodding, and opening his mouth once more to simply say, "ok."

Eddy looked up as the door opened and Kevin entered, he smiled sheepishly at the two Eds but Eddy merely shrugged and watched as Kevin wandered over to Edd's side. Ed watched him for a moment as well before pulling on Eddy's sleeve to get his attention.

"I think we should give Kevin and Edd some private time." He whispered and Eddy was shocked to hear Edd not only say a sentence without any comic book references but also call Edd by his name. It was mostly due to this shock he allowed himself to be pulled from the room by Ed.

Kevin turned at the sound of the door closing and smiled, glad not to be under the Ed's scrutiny anymore. He pulled up a chair beside the still unconscious Edd's bed and his smile widened; though he had been changed into a hospital gown his fish hat remained on his head. A nurse had obviously still tried her best to clean his face of all the gunk that usually covered it and Kevin was surprised to see black locks of hair falling across Edd's face. He reached his hand through the fish's wide mouth to brush one strand out of his face. At that moment a nurse walked in and looking around the room breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thank god those other two boys are gone, I can finally take of that forsaken head wear." She muttered but when she moved to do so Kevin blocked her path.

"Sorry, I can't let you do that. It, uh… Means a lot to him, see?"

The nurse looked him over before snorting, "look here now, you may be Mister Incredible-Super-Hero but that thing is getting in the way and we must take it off. I'm not taking no for an answer."

"Woah. Ok… Mister Incredible-Super-Hero?" Kevin laughed nervously, "is that what they're calling me now? I, uh anyway, I'll see what I can do but please don't take it off now, ok?"

"Fine but don't take too long I'm getting impatient." She growled, turning and leaving the room.

Kevin panicked, trying to think of a solution, finally it hit him, _maybe if I get him something else to wear on his head that's not so big…_ He ran out of the hospital without another thought to find a hat for Edd.

Kevin arrived back in the hospital with two hats- just in case Edd woke up and preferred one over the other. Edd was still unconscious, however, and Kevin decided to put on the black beanie he had brought with two white stripes on Edd as it seemed less likely to get in the way in comparison to the other hat he had brought, a red cap. Not having anywhere else to put the cap, though, he placed it on his head before going to lift Edd's fish hat. His hands stood still holding the head gear but not lifting it, the began to shake slightly, _was the really alright? _He gulped closing his eyes and pulling the thing off. What he saw shocked him, without the fish hat in the way Kevin could clearly see his face and he was actually kind of attractive. More attractive than Kevin had thought he would be at least. As Kevin's eyes moved up to his hairline he saw something even more shocking, a jagged scar across the left side of his head parting his hair. Kevin's hands drifted to the scar and he brushed his fingers gently across it. It seemed confidence wasn't the only reason Edd wore his hat. Kevin grabbed the beanie a pulled it onto Edd's head, making sure the scar was completely covered and arranging his hair neatly. He then sat back in the hospital chair, leaving only when the nurse told him he needed to do so.

Once he arrived home he collapsed onto his bed and fell asleep, still wearing the red cap he had brought earlier.

Kevin wearily made his way into the dining room for breakfast to find Rolf already sitting at the table.

"Casanova Kevin, good morning. I have an important matter to discuss with you, breakfast can wait, no?"

Kevin sat down at the table and indicated for Rolf to continue, "This man who's kidnapping you and the smart Ed boy and almost killing him, he seems to be very dangerous. Much more so than any of the Eds. We have therefore decided to work with the Eds until we have taken this cruel mastermind into our custody!"

"So… We'll be teaming up with them all… like buddies, pals, old time friends?" Kevin asked, smirking.

"Well, we'll see if we become quite so close… but yes."

"Cool. I'm going to visit Edd, then."

"Ah, yes, if the smart Ed boy is conscious yet you can tell him, yes, yes?" Rolf smiled pleasantly but stopped as he saw Kevin head to the door, "Wait, you're leaving right away, what about breakfast! Even Rolf's nana knows not to miss breakfast."

Kevin continued towards the door though, shouting over his shoulder, "I'll get it on the way."

Kevin made his way to the hospital quickly, stopping briefly only to buy a muffin and coffee for both Edd and he, _just in case he's awake, _he thought. He ate his own muffin as he continued on his way to the hospital.

He entered Edd's room to find he was, in fact, awake and when he saw Kevin he struggled to sit up wincing and putting a hand to his stomach.

"Hey, hey, be careful, you don't have to sit up- we don't want you hurting yourself any more than you are."

Edd nodded laying back down, "Kevin, the nurse told me you paid for my treatment and brought me this replacement hat… Thank you. I'll repay you as soon as possible."

"What? Repay me…?" Kevin looked genuinely confused and Edd couldn't help but smirk at him, "You don't have to repay me."

"But-"

"No." Kevin stated, "I'm a wealthy bastard, I don't need your money."

"I have to repay you somehow." Edd insisted and Kevin sighed.

"Fine. Tell you what, once you get better you can repay me by coming out for coffee with me."

Edd raised an eyebrow, "I thought we decided it wouldn't be possible for us to be friends with one another."

"Yeah but that was before the Eds teamed up with us to get Eddy's brother. So until he's caught we're on the same team."

"What if he's caught before I get better?"

"Look, dork, are you gonna accept my offer or not?"

"Alright, alright- I accept as long as you stop calling me dork." Kevin grinned at him scratching the back of his neck, but something was in the way.

"Ah, right!" Kevin cried pulling of the red cap, "I actually brought you this as well, in case you preferred it to the beanie."

"No thank you, Kevin, I'm fine with the beanie- plus the red cap actually looks pretty good on you."

Kevin grinned, he was almost going to ask Edd about his scar but stopped himself, instead handing him the muffin and coffee he had brought him. Edd received it gratefully.

"It seems I will need to sit up now anyway, do you mind helping me?"

"Of course." Kevin replied, he put one arm around the back of his shoulders, leaning Edd towards him and lightly placed one arm over his stomach, careful not to hurt him. He pulled him up as he did so Edd awkwardly bumping into his chest. Finally Edd was sitting up but he stopped Kevin from moving away.

"Please, just give me a moment…" He muttered through ragged breathes. When he did eventually pull away Kevin kept one hand on his shoulder until he was sure he was alright. Edd smiled reassuringly at him and bit into his muffin.

"So I'm guessing Ed and Eddy haven't come by yet today?" Kevin asked.

"Oh no, they're both fairly late sleepers most of the time- they'll probably come by in a few hours."

"I see, so I guess it's just you and me until then, huh?" Kevin grinned and Edd chuckled, before the two fell into a comfortable silence only broken by Edd's eating noises.


	14. Chapter 14: The dream

Hey guys I've got **2 MEGA IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS.**

1) I will be writing a bonus chapter of this story that takes place between the last two chapters- I wasn't going to because I didn't believe my writing ability to be good enough to write it but I was convinced to by yess91. I don't know when I'll be able to upload it as I don't want it to interfere with my writing schedule for the two stories I have going right now.

2) I reached 100 followers on tumblr which I feel pretty happy about- for those of you who don't know this my tumblr is

Anyway enjoy this chapter of Dirt and Soap! I'm going back to school tomorrow (I had a two week holiday)

* * *

The sound of screams rang through the air and sobs wracked through Kevin's body as he knelt by Edd's, lying in a pool of blood. Behind him smoke billowed up in the sky as another bomb went off. _My fault, all my fault, _he thought though he couldn't remember how any of this started- only that Edd was dying and he could have prevented it. He held Edd's hand tightly in his own as tears fell from his cheeks mixing with Edd's blood.

"I'm sorry, Edd." He whispered and slumped forward, resting his head on Edd's chest and listening to the slowly diminishing beats of his heart.

"Kevin! Kevin, get up!" A voice shouted out to him and he felt a hand shake his shoulder but he couldn't move his body.

He felt himself start to fall away from Edd as a piercing light ruined his vision.

"Edd!" Kevin bolted awake and saw Nazz standing above him, a hand on his shoulder from when she had been attempting to wake him.

"Another bad dream?" she asked kindly and Kevin let out a sigh of relief- yes, it was just a dream.

"Yeah… Edd-" he began to explain but Nazz interrupted him.

"It's alright, Kev. You were just a little freaked out by the incident with Eddy's brother, that's all. That's why you keep dreaming about it."

"But it wasn't a dream about that incident! It was worse; Edd-"

Once again Nazz interrupted him, "Okay so it's not the exact same incident. But it's generally the same- Edd's hurt, you think he's gonna die, etcetera, etcetera. Point is Eddy's brother shook you up and scared you a little- that's why you're having these dreams. But Edd's fine, he's getting better rapidly."

Kevin chewed on the inside of his cheek and got out of bed, "I'm going to go visit him."

"OK…" Nazz murmured and left the room so he could get dressed.

Kevin threw on his clothes and was out the door in moments, rushing to the hospital. When he arrived he went through to Edd's room and smiled at him, trying to make everything seem as normal as possible as he pulled a chair over and sat down.

"Are you alright, Kevin? You look tired."

"Ah… Yeah, I'm fine just haven't been sleeping well."

"I see… How is the search for Eddy's brother going?" Edd asked him, though he didn't look like he expected much.

"Not- not so well. We have not found any leads yet."

"Oh well. By the way, I'll be able to go out this Saturday. So it looks like we'll have time to "hang out" and have coffee."

Kevin grinned, reaching out to grab Edd's hand, "Awesome. Do you have to come back to the hospital or are you permanently out?"

"Oh no, I'm only allowed a small trip out- then I come back afterwards."

Kevin nodded and leant back, "OK… I can't wait until you're all better than we can do all sorts of things."

Edd shook his head, laughing softly, "Now, Kevin- I only agreed to coffee."

Kevin pouted with a frown and Edd chuckled, squeezing his hand, "I'm joking."

"Good. You may be a dork but you're pretty cool." Kevin smirked at him and Edd rolled his eyes.

"Oh, thank you, Kevin!" he replied sarcastically, "That must be the greatest compliment anyone has ever given me."

"Shut up, you sassy bitch," Kevin laughed.

Kevin arrived at the hospital at noon on Saturday to pick up Edd. Edd was already dressed and completely prepared when Kevin entered his room, as expected from him. The two walked to a nearby café and Edd paid for both their orders- insisting it only made sense after Kevin paid for many things for Edd. The two chatted happily as they ate and drank and once they had finished went to a small park. Kevin looked down at Edd and he couldn't help the sudden relief that surged through him as he grabbed Edd's hand.

"I'm so glad you're alright. I'm so happy you didn't die." He whispered, he stopped walking and hunched over trying to prevent himself from crying.

"K-Kevin?" Edd turned to him, shocked, "W-what's wrong?"

"I-I've been having bad dreams ever since that time… When I see that bastard again I'll kill him." Kevin muttered darkly.

Edd watched Kevin, unsure what to do as tears spilled down his cheeks and he wiped them away with his free hand. After a while Edd stepped forward, awkwardly putting an arm around Kevin and rubbing his back soothingly.

"It's OK… I survived; you don't have to cry over what might've been. Save your tears for a time that actually calls for them." He murmured softly, glancing around at the other people in the park who were giving the two boys odd looks, "Come on, let's go back to the hospital now."

Kevin nodded, wiping away the last of his tears and pulling away from Edd. The two made their way back in silence.

Eddy threw himself down next to Ed grumpily, the two were about to watch a horror movie together but Eddy was not in a good mood.

"Can you believe sock head?" He cried, "He's finally allowed out of the hospital for a little while and he tells us he's doing something with Kevin! Can you believe that, Lumpy? Kevin!"

"But Double D said he made a pinkie promise with Kevin because Kevin helped him out." Ed grinned at his friend.

"Promise, Lumpy, it was just an ordinary promise- we're not five year olds anymore. Anyway that doesn't excuse him- we helped sock head out all the time _and_ we've been his best freaking friends since we were kids."

Ed frowned thoughtfully before grinning again, "Maybe then, Kevin needs to catch up on time with Double D so he can be best friends with him too."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard- they can't be friends, we're literally enemies."

Ed gasped, "A forbidden romance! Those are my favourite kinds of stories… It always ends with them dead though! Eddy I don't want Double D to die!" Ed cried grabbing Eddy and shaking him.

"Jesus, Ed! Let go!" Eddy shouted, freeing himself from Ed's strong grasp, "sock head's not gonna die, who said anything about romance anyway."

Ed looked at him gravely, "even if it's just a forbidden friendship it is still dangerous Eddy. We must save Double D."


End file.
